Very Fortunate

Some say lucky some say blessed

But I know my desirability, no I'm not like the rest 

Fortunate yes 

Call me unique, call my personality real call my body lovely 

It's sorta like simulation, because its an act of anticipation because 

I'll have you waiting; for me

Compare my smile to the sun providing you with warmth while brilliantly shining 

Filling you with energy

Fortunate yes

I have this thing I do sometimes, that makes your my mind unseeing,

That all you see is me it's like a depiction of feelings, 

 No its not absurd, I'm just Fortunate

That I'm that promising making you see no one else 

Yes I'm a catch, & someday someone will be propitious enough to receive me 

 Believe me I'm worth it, 

Something close to impeccable but not quite  

 Just that gorgeous, what a pleasure to be in sight 

Let me consume your soul, body & mind to a feeling that can never be defined

 My authenticity I hope you see, how beloved I can be 

All you have to do is give me your heart, 

& no I don't need any keys, or clues to open it

Trust me I already know this

Lucky no, I'm just very Fortunate ..

TiffJ

My theories

How can I Love when I'm afraid to fall
Why would I want to give to someone if it's not my all
I'm not really sure how Love works
So I have my theories on how it should
How we would be, want to be, & how we could, yeah my theories
I noticed that I push people away
& before I realize I want them there, its too late
But I have my theories that someday someone even when I push them
Will pull me with'em
And I know patience is a virtue
Good things take time, so I guess I'll wait for you 
And if you're not sure if it's meant to be
You let 'em go & wait and see
Sometimes it might not be, but my theory is you have faith
That even if you've been disappointed, someone better will take their place
Love is wanting someone to be happy even if its not with you
Because it's not selfish, its about what you're feeling not felt
It's wanting the best for them & not yourself
And No, I'm not sure about any of these things
I'm like 99% positive, that I believe I really know what Love should be
And no you don't have to agree with me
Because, they're My theories...


TiffJ

Love and War

Ask yourself a question what is Love and war?  

Weird thing about these words is if we focused on Love wouldn't be reason for war.. 

 But sadly we are, what goes through our minds that make us want to fight each other be at war with one another

 Maybe cause its easier to forget things, than remember, we forget the Love then remember the war  

And if we actually take a closer look, it hasn't gotten us very far  

Truth is it's hard to be honest with ourselves, cause if we did it may cause us to need help  

Which is also a problem, because of our pride, because we're afraid of what people will think of us & that may cause shame or revealed lies   

I think we all battle with whether we should Love or just fight it believe it or not for some people it's not quite inviting                                                                                        

So lets invite Love into our lives, & remember why its here in the first place before its to late          

All I know is Love is God, with him there's not a war we can't defeat at anytime, night and day

All you have to do is pray...

  

Focusing on me

Can't stand lies cause I need something to believe in
 So tell me the truth I do my best to believe it
 Thinking I'll always be there you're dreaming..
Cause eventually reality will set in & I won't.
& all of a sudden its not the same listening to Love songs
Cause there was always someone who came to mind
 Now I find nobody there are me trying my best to keep someone out
For once I want my mind clear from you other people & him
 Cause having a liberated mind is something everyone should feel
 & the other day for the first time I just jammed to the music payed no attention to words
 Felt good not to wonder what could of been or what was
 Unexplainable feeling when you have no worries for a moment
 Cause a moment only last for about a minute
& can you really explain something in 60 seconds 
But what I can explain, is that I'm focusing on myself          
& to do that no I don't need no help
Cutting people off ,making important decisions
This is the part of life, when I do what I like
 I decide what I want, how I feel & what I need
I guess you can say I'm focusing on me...


TiffJ

What's my fantasy

I think about my dream
Someone more genuine than what it seems
Assured everyday, that we're meant to be
Understands me & my mood swings
Cause you know what I can offer & bring
 I'm not talking about perfect, but real & worth it
 I'm a little sensitive, so every now and then I might need to be held
 & that's okay, because you believe being in your arms is the safest place
So I think about my dream
 In my dream you're perfect, because you believe in loving me
Then we prevail against everything, & erase all the doubts
And from our mouths, we vow
And our actions makes it real
Then we live happily ever after because you kneeled and proposed that we be together forever
I'm not asking for much just Love & loyalty
So for anyone who wants to know that's my fantasy ....


TiffJ

Optimism poem..

Love is not all on my agenda its to stressful
I'm just tryna be there for my family & friends when I'm successful
And I'm just trying to be optimistic
But pessimist seem to think its not realistic
But they missed it
Sometimes you gotta step out of reality & dream
Cause life is unfair and dreams make it more than what it seems
So once again I'm optimistic cause I have to be
Cause there are those who will bring you down & make it like that's where you're suppose to be
I have my optimist days and my pessimist days
But at the end of the day I have joy cause God brought me a mighty long ways
Woke me up this morning & took me through things I can't explain
And since my creativity is up today
Ima write till I can't, think until my mind is blank
Speak words that's beyond your imagination & take your mind some place
Create vivid thoughts make you understand what seemed so unteachable
Make you reach for my heart even when it seems so unreachable
Make you believe that you can have it
& I'm so positive right now I might actually let you grab it
Because its your exhilaration, hopefulness and confidence
Which all means optimism and you go along ways if you have it.


TiffJ

I want the music playing..

I want the music playing..

Cause you are so distracting.. 

music is the only thing that stops me from over thinking

 & over analyzing 

& lately I can't seem to control my mind and. 

  Its like my mind  has a mind of its on  so I don't know,

but the music changes that 

when I'm sad to glad

when I'm angry to Happy 

but only when I pick the right song 

  otherwise it'll be a bad mood gone wrong 

I wouldn't say Its my life

But I know I can't walk around with earphones in everywhere 

Eventually & hopefully one day I can control what's in there   

 My thoughts I'm trying to control that          

My mind my private movie & I control the soundtrack.. 

TiffJ

When you say never..

I never do anything I don't feel like
  Unless its best for me then I might
I never play w/ what other people feel
Cause its never good when its real 
  I never say Love unless I mean it 100%
Otherwise I don't say it 
  But I try to make sure I do things even if I don't like it
I guess I'm trying to make me more enticing 
  I never liked saying the word never cause I felt like it'll happen when you say it
I don't know about you but Ima say what I wanna say
Cause if its meant to be it'll happen anyways 
When you say never you limit everything you can do 
& even if you don't want to what's the point of saying what you're not going to 
There really isn't one if you know what you're willing to do ....be you
Then you'll never have to worry what you said you never would never do..


TiffJ

Pride/self-esteem

If my pride could talk it would say stop being full of yourself  
  If my self esteem could talk it would say you really need help                                                  
  Dont get me confused Im not naive
Nobody can tell me Im beautiful & I feel have to give them something
I know where Im going I know who I am Just not sure how to get there
 If I ever talk to whats-his face again I would say its not fair
You made me like you now I have to pretend not to care
 So even if it was real Ill just move on like it wasnt
One thing Ive noticed is my pride has stopped me from doing a lot of things my heart wanted to do Then my self esteem takes over my mind like, was I ....really ?
So Im not sure how I come up w/ anything ..one thing I know is it takes time cause I never know whether to go with my heart or my mind ...

TiffJ

Memory...

In memory
of all those who made me who I am,
Friend or Foe;
Im better now than I ever was
Get better with each passing day
To all those who just came around to make a memory..foe;
& for those want to be my memory and I theirs friend
I know who you are & you are saved to memory..


TiiffJ

Miss you more..

Do you know what its like to meet someone who knows you better than you know yourself
To feel lost, but have someone who finds you
Then makes sure you never go astray again
A friend, a light that brightens your day What a honor to know someone whose smile makes you smile even when you dont wanna
But I'll admit I was against you
But you were for me so how could I be
Turns out its hard not letting someone in your life when you wanna be in theirs
I wont ever forget you because you gave me so much to remember
&; if and when time goes by you say you miss me but I think you say it only when you're bored & even if not
Know that I miss you more...


TiffJ

Let me see...

Lets see I could write about why I have no idea what to write about or how Ive been so distracted I never bothered to pick up a writing utensil
Lets see last year in high school my mind left caught up in a social life I felt I needed to have so ill never feel alone
&; that became a necessity so when I didnt have it I was gne mind, body, and soul
Lets see I caught the itis so bad I didnt even fight it started procrastinating almost didn't graduate
Now I come to ends with a life that was the base of my heart now I find myself exploring it deeper
 Lets see open up to people in ways I never thought I would
 feels good being comfortable in my own skin
trying not to blend or pretend this is me real, genuine, athentic &; Im letting you see.


Tiff J