Discombobulated

Lost for words, happy moods absent
I so don't know what's happening
Can you imagine feeling this way, if you could only see the expression on my face
The thing is I've always had this agenda for all the things I wanted to do
But lately there's been so many setbacks so hard to follow through
Just know that I refuse, to loose winning is in my destiny
Cause God keeps blessing me
& though one minute I'm glad, mad, perplexed one big mess that's just it, cause...
Times like this in your life you focus on works & faith that you'll be led somewhere great
I'm just not sure how to follow my dreams
If you know what I mean, like what path I must go what things might I need
But still I proceed, day to day with an nonchalant expression
Tryna send a message
That nothing can phase she, & though everything does
You wouldn't know that cause you don't know me
& though it's hard in the morning for me to stay awake & at night hard to sleep
I know my moment's coming I'm just waiting
Until then I'm confused & upset that's the vibes of discombobulated.


TiffJ

Inexperienced

Writing something is permanent, unless you demolish what you wrote it upon
So I always stopped myself from saying some on a topic which I didn't have any experience on
You have to have a type of maturity & labor for something to enact real
Find a sympathetic place for it to come from so people would understand how you feel
Along with obtaining an intimate perception on something to discern the lesson
How can you empathize when you don't know where to go to find that feeling inside
How could you inform or relate when you've never experienced that sensation to feel what to say
I've never been a fan of taking people's advice when they've never applied it in there on life
And I've never cared to communicate
With those who relay words for the sake of communicating nothing deep to say
How could you lend your advice
If you don't know if you would take it, or at least might
To speak on other peoples issues I've always been on the fence
When some people would be like what do you know but my feelings are intense &  even still I say nothing cause I am aware that I'm Inexperienced..

TiffJ

Scared to feel

I stopped responding when my heart started speaking
I stopped trying to find the true definition of love when I actually felt I had my own meaning            Didn't try to explain it, cause its those eccentric feelings that you're scared to put into words
Cause it might be, lo..
Then I found myself not texting
Cause I started looking forward to your message
Cause when you start expecting, there's a huge risk
And it's then you allow yourself to be disappointed
Peculiar I think they call it
Noticing your unusual behavior doing things you don't do often
I thought I ran out of words for you until I realized there were other words I'd rather say
So speechless is what I became
Why I shut down when I feel the unnorm way
Maybe cause I'm not use to being in that place or
Maybe because I've never sincerely been
Feeling vulnerable I've never been fond of that feeling
Scared to feel, because hearts take the longest to heal
& I'm not positive I ready for that whole ordeal
But you can't help when you meet people & fall for them that's apart of living it's just scary
Because hearts have no boundaries are limitations when it starts feeling & that scares me..

TiffJ