Let me see...

Lets see I could write about why I have no idea what to write about or how Ive been so distracted I never bothered to pick up a writing utensil
Lets see last year in high school my mind left caught up in a social life I felt I needed to have so ill never feel alone
&; that became a necessity so when I didnt have it I was gne mind, body, and soul
Lets see I caught the itis so bad I didnt even fight it started procrastinating almost didn't graduate
Now I come to ends with a life that was the base of my heart now I find myself exploring it deeper
 Lets see open up to people in ways I never thought I would
 feels good being comfortable in my own skin
trying not to blend or pretend this is me real, genuine, athentic &; Im letting you see.


Tiff J

"Facing Reality"

Facing reality

done w/ dreaming of what could've been or will never be

time to focus lookin straight ahead but barely

people tryna get my attention with ignorance

but i got distracted looked on the side of me

now I'm apart of something I wasnt even tryna be

so now I have to face it no walkin away

cause if I do I will be leavin people who have never left me

so done with this fantasy

with perfect friends & family

cause that will never be

done dreaming for now facing reality....

The thought

Tryna get myself to believe everything thats right

But its hard to see with blurry sight.

I contemplate over & over, what i wanna be 

while I still have someone to wake me in the morning & help me believe

It seems times get hard when it starts seeming easy

& though it might be easy, sometimes its hard breathing,

I know my times coming when I have to start caring for myself 

& hopefully i don't get caught up and have to care for someone else

I called this the thought cause I'm thinking about it all the time

Thinking without even knowing I'm thinking cause so much goes on inside

Inside of me, I find friends hard to keep 

Especially when it starts seeming personal

Cause now you're doing all you can no to hurt them

I find love on my mind

& my thoughts about it is it can be horrible but kind

I tell myself I'm getting me ready now

so in the future Ill know how....How to Love myself & someone else at the same time

Its like I'm obliged to do so...

I make my own rules which I choose to follow.. 

to make me genuine & true

So do you know whats on my mind 

if not that's fine 

Its not your place to know...

Cause minds are sacred places for only you to go...


TiffJ

Dear, Anonymous

This is your Breaking point

you broke
&; as hard as it is for me to except your Hurt
I have to put you back together..
but why..
because thats what friends are for
&; though Ive been here but a minute
I get it The feelings & when people act Ignorant

Some just dont get
 how you put up with thier mess
only cause youre trying to be a good person
but at the end of the day feel worthless
& if that is friendship I dont want it
maybe God seen that you wouldnt let them go
so he had them do it for you
so now that thier gone focus on your real friends
the ones that plan to be there to end
& though its hard to let go you have to
they left you no choice....
Im writing to Anonymous but you know who you are..


TiffJ

Define Hate?

The bible says Love everyone even your Enemies,
But define Hate cause thats all I want to do ..
At this moment its hard to explain how I feel, when all I want to do is actions
 Keep asking myself why I hold everything inside..
& to release emotions I cry..
Then back to fake smile saying Im okay..&
 I ask myself to define Hate.
.My life isnt great neither is anybody elses but I know somebodys Life is better than mine
& just the opposite.
Somethings is just hard to take..
Makes you feel all you want to do is Hate.
Time goes by gets better but will never be the same cause you Remember the rain
Still feel the pain.
I know how I feel but deny it cause I know I shouldnt feel this way..
I should Love.. but define Hate.

TiffJ

"I Dream"...

I dream of the day when I have to no longer worry who my friends are but believing that day will come makes me naive,
Cause there's no human being made to not disappoint you
You have to know who you're letting inside of your heart
Cause then they go in being destructive & they just break it apart
I dream of the day when I have to no longer worry who my friends are but believing that day will come makes me naive
 I wasn't made to believe everything is perfect when that's not what it seem
So its not true enough to believe that when I make friends its going to succeed
But I'm still open-minded to believe, until then I close my eyes & dream..
Of the day when I have to no longer worry who my friends are but believing that day will come makes me naive
So I imagine in my mind everything is fine & okay
And my friends are worth it & can never be replace
So I hope that's true cause I dream of the day with all of my heart
When I have to no longer worry who my friends are..


TiffJ

Feelings's to late

Why he stares at me like Im suppose to say something why he walks by like our hands suppose to be touching one of us should say something but I refuse to let it be me I feel youre the guy so you should come to me I do believe thats sad to believe but what do when the feeling wont leave,he can act & make it seem its nothing, when really its something, but the day he realizes his heart is broken I will already be gone cause then I will be starting my future & I dont plan on doing it alone, I know in the future something could possibly hit'em & I know its kinda sad I didnt wait it out & stay, but I guess its on him, his feelings came to late.


TiffJ